On Dec 10, 2015 11:45 AM, "Rich Sbardella via Callers" <callers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
>
> Folks,
>
> One visiting couple, who had been waiting eagerly for the last dance , put on their jackets and left disappointed, stating that they do not like Beckets.

This is unusual behavior. More on that below.

> Is there a negative sentiment about Becket formation among many dancers?  If so, can someone explain the reason?

No and no.

Imagine that instead of Becket, the caller announced, the last dance will be a square. Or a shadow swing dance. Or a triple minor chestnut with no partner swing. Or a mazurka quadrille, with footwork. How would it be reasonable for the dancers to respond?

What if you didn't know ahead of time? Say you start out improper and circle all the way instead of 3/4, and surprise, actually Becket. Or a shadow swing unannounced. Or the caller asks you to do something dangerous. Or a dance that the caller is simply unprepared to teach well. How do you respond?

We have an unstated social contract (thanks to Seth Tepfer from whom I learned this idea) between the band, the caller, and the dancers. The dancers and band trust the caller to lead the event; in doing so, they cede some of their autonomy. They agree to listen to the caller and go along with their program, not dancing their own dance or playing their own music whenever they feel like it. But this trust depends on the caller's ability to earn it. (It's this way in any teaching situation.)

As callers, we show the dancers we are worthy of their trust by knowing what we are doing, and by meeting community expectations. (For example, at least in my area, some callers call both English dances and contra dances, but these communities have come to expect different styles of teaching.) Call dances which flow nicely, are fun, are not too hard to learn, are contra dances, etc. but occasionally teach us something new, do a square dance, etc.

On the dancers' side, the social contract I think includes a lot of measures of commitment. If the caller is doing their job well, you agree to dance with a partner, in a line, across from neighbors, and keep doing the dance the caller is leading, and respect your fellow dancers' boundaries. Or maybe you sit out if you're tired, you don't like this formation, or you just don't want to dance. These are your choices, and you don't have to involve other people in them.

It definitely feels awkward when people go outside the social contract: The caller doesn't know what they're talking about. The caller calling out individuals for 'doing it wrong'. Dancers disrupting the caller. Dancers making each other uncomfortable. Dancers dropping out of the middle of the set. Dancers making a dramatic departure.

So I'm not sure what dancers are accomplishing by making a show of not liking Becket dances and leaving*. Presumably Becket dances are as much a part of your community's expectations as they are of mine. Having bought into the social contract, we respond with "those people are being weird", not "the caller should not call Beckets".

(*: actually, in your original example, Rich, I'm not sure if they were obnoxious about it or just said it privately to the dancers near them.)

Yoyo Zhou