This is where I tread carefully, because _all men_ (or nearly so) are raised with some pretty toxic beliefs doused all over them (and women, but they seem to do a bit better than us men at dealing with it). Sometimes it's hard to tell the boundary between "traditional gender roles" versus homophobia. And that's why it's absolutely a reason why it's a touchy subject.
Anytime "doing X in dancing is homophobic" is brought up, it's:
1. Not always accurate
2. When it is accurate, it's just going to shut down most discussion. No one wants to hear their deeply ingrained societal norms and beliefs are bigoted, right? It's a non-starter for conversation.
That said, lgbtqia folks (myself included) absolutely should talk about the negative effects of it (ex: Two women are split up so men can have partners, or the "dramatic production" JJ mentioned in their reply). It's critical these stories continue to be told so people can understand the harm that is done sometimes in the name of "tradition".
But in terms of how we - as performers and organizers - look forward and improve things, I think if the goal is persuasiveness, it's more effective to let people judge for themselves whether and how their ingrained societal norms are homophobic or not.