Oh, yeah, that obsessing over the two things that went wrong. It will get better. A few things to take notice of: you can’t please all of the people all of the time. Even if you call an evening with no obvious errors, someone will come up and say they didn’t like a particular dance because it had a men’s swing (or some other figure). And someone else will come up and say they particularly liked that dance because it had a men’s swing (or that other figure) (I’ve had this happen). One person will come up and say they love it when things get chaotic (I’ve had this happen). When I’ve played piano, after a night when a few particularly egregious chords crept into my playing and I felt like it was the worst night I’d played in a long time, one dancer came up and gushed how we sounded fantastic that night. Oh well. So after a while you realize that if everyone is going home reasonably happy, that’s the best you can hope for. Just like life, we aren’t perfect. And then try saying this to yourself “First World Problem!” 
Martha

On Nov 6, 2017, at 9:21 AM, Charles via Callers <callers@lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

Great topic, Maia - 

I'm reminded of what a college environmental science professor once said: "The solution to pollution is dilution." In terms of your question, I find one solution is to call more gigs; that way, there is less time to brood over mistakes, and the errors become less noticeable! 

That in addition to all of the other tips that others have already provided might provide some comfort...😊

From: Callers <callers-bounces@lists.sharedweight.net> on behalf of Maia McCormick via Callers <callers@lists.sharedweight.net>
Sent: Monday, November 6, 2017 4:10 PM
To: callers@lists.sharedweight.net
Subject: [Callers] Moving past self-flagellation
 
So after a gig, I find myself haunted by one or two missteps from an evening — the rolling start that was a little muddy, the thing I didn’t teach clearly enough so the dancers never quite got it — even though the dancers adjusted and all had a good time, and I still had the hall’s trust and goodwill at the end of the evening.

Is this a familiar experience for anyone? Assuming you’ve already learned the lesson to be learned there, how do you move past it and stop self-flagellating?Would love to hear some people’s thoughts!

Cheers,
Maia
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