[Callers] Moving past self-flagellation

[Jerome Grisanti]

Maia,

I agree with what others have said about attitude being the most important
tool, and to be gentle with yourself.

I will sometimes tell the beginners lesson that they shouldn't get caught
up on making mistakes, we all make mistakes, in fact tonight I will make a
mistake to increase their comfort level, if it helps. And although I don't
TRY to make a mistake, mistakes happen.

Most recently, I said "ladies chain" instead of "ladies allemande" in a
walkthru. "Oops," I said, "I meant allemande. I made that mistake
intentionally to show that it's still okay even if you do something you
didn't initially intend to do." We continued the walkthru, the dance worked
fine, and the light touch signaled not only that "it's okay" but also "be
gentle with each other."

On those rare nights when all the stars align in my performance, we don't
get those learning moments on the floor. There are good possible outcomes
in most every scenario, as long as there's good dancing.

Even when things beyond my control go wrong, I've learned to redirect. For
example, if the sound goes wonky, when the sound is restored it's a good
idea to acknowledge how much the sound tech works behind the scenes to make
most evenings so seamless. Let's thank him/her for all they do. (Okay, I
stole this from another caller, but it's come in handy more than once).

--Jerome

Jerome Grisanti
660-528-0858
http://www.jeromegrisanti.com

"Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power
and magic in it." --Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

On Mon, Nov 6, 2017 at 10:10 AM, Maia McCormick via Callers <
callers at lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:

> So after a gig, I find myself haunted by one or two missteps from an
> evening — the rolling start that was a little muddy, the thing I didn’t
> teach clearly enough so the dancers never quite got it — even though the
> dancers adjusted and all had a good time, and I still had the hall’s trust
> and goodwill at the end of the evening.
>
> Is this a familiar experience for anyone? Assuming you’ve already learned
> the lesson to be learned there, how do you move past it and stop
> self-flagellating?Would love to hear some people’s thoughts!
>
> Cheers,
> Maia
>
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