[Callers] Etiquette of refusing an offer to dance

Alexandra Deis-Lauby adeislauby at gmail.com
Sat Dec 16 12:01:42 PST 2017


This is Cdny’s etiquette page. It addresses saying no but not in great detail in terms of historical practice. 

http://cdny.org/what-is-contra/contra-etiquette/

Sent from my iPhone

> On Dec 16, 2017, at 2:39 PM, Kalia Kliban via Callers <callers at lists.sharedweight.net> wrote:
> 
> Hi all,
> 
> Those of us who started dancing 2 or 3 decades back probably remember the rule about sitting out the dance if you turn down a partner offer. A very competent male dancer I know who started around the same time I did (late 80s) recently confessed to me that he never asks anyone to dance because he doesn't want to put folks in the position of thinking "If I don't dance with this guy then I have to sit one out.  Oh crap, guess I'll have to dance with him."  For the record, he's a totally solid and delightful dancer.
> 
> To what extent has that earlier etiquette norm either survived or been replaced, and what has it been replaced with?  In your dance community, do you have a written statement of the etiquette around this?  Our community's statement doesn't directly address this issue.
> 
> Kalia
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